Lord, I am coming up to six weeks on leave. I cannot say that it has not been refreshing in some ways, productive in some other ways, and painful in more than a few ways. It has taught me several things; the most important thing, I believe, is that I may have ignored or otherwise passed over a sense that it is time for me to move into retirement.
I confess, Lord, to an unholy pride that somehow the hospital could not get along without me. Well, they are. I am not nearly as indispensable as I once thought. Being at home and getting a LOT of things done has been relaxing, too. I am not sure that my DH has enjoyed my being at home, though, in some ways because I think he had been getting into his own retirement routine. I am sure that my Bailey Beagle has loved it. He has been a companion who makes me feel quite loved (not that DH has failed at that!).
My next step appears to be researching retirement for myself and specifically the Group 2 designation. This week is a busy week with various appointments: root canal follow-up, platelet donation, haircut and color, taking my mother to a medical appointment, and just doing the next "one" thing around the house. See? This time "off" has not exactly been idle time.
Lord God, You know that I am devoted to serving You. I see the ways in which this trial has overtones of having me join in the fellowship of Jesus's sufferings. He, too, was falsely accused, considered a criminal, unjustly punished even unto death. Although it isn't too likely that this trial will kill me, it may be the death of my career.
You just sent a hummingbird.
Not my will but Yours be done. Amen.
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