Unreasonable Partner

 Father, it must be nice for You because whenever we are unreasonable (which, by definition, we are as humans compared to You), You are always right.  Still, You are gracious and patient with us — with me.  

I am having a very hard time with my husband's irrational logic.  Time after time after time, he makes no sense; he misremembers things in the short term; he is sometimes awkward in his understanding (or misunderstanding, sometimes insulting or hostile) of less gifted people.  Example: Today, when we picked up a Congolese girl who would be helping in Children's Ministry at QV, he spoke to her in what I perceived as a condescending manner, though not intentionally.  It showed me, anyway, how little he understands people.  He makes pronouncements that he wants to be accepted as authoritative, but they are easily challenged or disproven.  

I fear (yes, I do fear) that these are early signs of dementia.  He loves his woodworking, and he is excellent at it.  I don't see a strong interest in current events, political - religious issues, or people outside of his comfort zone (read: LGBTQ or intellectually less able or mentally ill).  He really likes simplicity, such as all-or-nothing thinking, sin vs. righteousness (whatever that means in the moment), and comfort.  It is hard for him to think compassionately about people who are less fortunate or who are subject to really difficult situations in the world (Ebola, bombing, terror, ICE detentions, and other situations).  In fact, it is hard for him to think at all about these people.  They don't seem to come into his mind.

You cannot make your partner be reasonable. You cannot logic them into a calmer response. You cannot win an argument with someone who isn't currently capable of being reasoned with. These are not failures on your part — they're just the reality of how human beings work under stress.

What you can control: how you respond. 

 

(https://davidflowerstherapy.com/but-my-partner-is-being-ridiculous)

Father, I would ask that You control how I respond.  I have already demonstrated that I am terrible at responding well.

God Shots: Marriage and Politics

 Happy Birthday, George!  You made it to age 65.  

**********************************************************************************

Sometimes, Abba, I admit that I see signs of slipping cognitive abilities; Tue commented that his father does not show good judgment from time to time, which Tue attributed to decline, and I was a little shocked at my recognition of similar slippage in DH.  

I also find other signs, too, and some of them may be signs of spiritual slippage as well.  

• Giving me things I do not want and/or I do not request.  Reminds me of the sacrifice of Cain.
• Not getting me things I want, which are often specifically for the purposes of serving him as well as others.  Reminds me of the televangelists and/or the spending of huge amounts of money for programs or features of a building to be impressive.
• The above is not exactly on point; DH actually does not focus on the external features of our home or our marriage, although I have noticed some increased attention to numbers of people, numbers of dollars, or the features of a church.
• Not caring about our sexual relationship until it somehow rises to the point that he misses it.  (I want to cry about this one.)  No concern for (probably) decades about my experience.  Reminds me a great deal of the state of worship and church-hopping during my lifetime.

Probably enough for one entry,  There might be more; in fact, as I write this, I can thing of one or two more issues right away.  But for now, moving on~

*********************************************************************************

Stepping away from DH and noting thoughts from Amos and previous books of the Old Testament, I find myself weirdly saddened and comforted by how consistently Your people *fail* to follow You.  Sometimes You report this behavior before it happens--and still You often bless them.  

I think Your people are still doing this, Abba.  May I not be counted among those who are faithless and hard-hearted, unrepentant and casual in my relationship with and to You.

Fully Yielded Heart

• 
  "he's an evil king [that is, King Jeroboam II] as far as God and His ways are concerned, and things get really rough for the people during his time."
• "Even as an evil king, Jerry 2 is still accomplishing what God ordained."
• "But Amaziah would not listen, for it was of God, so that he [God] might give them into the hand of their enemies, because they had sought the gods of Edom." (2 Chronicles 25:20)

God our King, these are some of the thoughts that I have had about our current president in the US.  He is an evil king, and things are getting really rough for the people during his time.  But it is true in some ways that the president may well still be accomplishing what You have ordained.  I have wondered whether the hard-heartedness of the president may be "of God, so that [You] might give them into the hand of their enemies, because they had sought [other gods]. 

May I, my God, have a fully yielded heart to You, and may I not seek any other gods but You.

God Shot for My Country

 Father God, may I model my prayer after that of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20~~

O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you.

Did you not, our God, bless the early inhabitants of this land for your people, and give it to their descendants? 

And they have lived in it and have built for you in it a sanctuary for your name, saying, 

‘If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment,[c] or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this nation and before you—for your name is in your people—and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.’

O our God, will you not execute judgment? For we are powerless against this great horde of evil that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

I am crying out for mercy for this nation in its affliction, knowing that many who claim your name are worshipping an idol and, along with myself, do not deserve your mercy. May I not worship an idol or fail to do everything according to your word and your will.  May my heart be tender and aggrieved and open to your discipline, your rebuke, your correction, and your love.  

For the sake of your kingdom and your kingship~~For Jesus's sake and in his name, Amen.

Exhausted

 In oh, so many ways!

This week Bailey and I spent a lot of time with veterinarians.  We met a new one at the Westside Animal Clinic because Holden had no available appointments and then we experienced a great team at the Veterinary Emergency Group.  His problem has two identities: formerly Hemorrhagic GastroEnteritis (or HGE) and now Acute Hemorrhagic Diarrhea Syndrome.  I think for Bailey the term "Syndrome" suggests repetition, and it seems that he may have been fulfilling that suggestion!  This is approximately the third time we have dealt with this particular diagnosis.  Yuck.

My God!  Trying to pray in the manner described in Scripture is sometimes awkward for me.  I chat with You constantly, although sometimes I mistake my own thoughts for a conversation with you.  Real prayer is different, I think.  Example from today's Bible reading from 2 Chronicles 6~~

Now, Lord, the God of [those who have believed in Your Son, Jesus Christ], keep for Your servants the promises You made to us when You said that You would never leave us nor forsake us; that all things would work together for good for those of us who love You; that You have overcome the world.

(I regret that I need to take my dog, the Bailey mentioned above, outside because I smell something!)  

I want to continue this post soon.  Give me time, Lord.