How do I begin, Lord? I am committing to pray for Bill and against that horrible cancer in his body. Sometimes I see encouragement in my daily Bible readings, and sometimes I see that You allow people to die--Stephen in Acts, Margie Germagian from church just this week. How do I make sense of all this? Am I supposed to make sense of all this?
"When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do." (I'm a Gentile. LOL!) "Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." That's good, Father, because I don't know what I need, or exactly what Bill and Mom need. "Pray then like this:...."
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done....Bless Your name, Father. I know that Your home is in heaven, and that You have "summer homes" or second (and third...) homes in our hearts. Why do we fight so hard to go to Your home? I know the answer to this one for Bill. I need to know that he knows that he is going to Your home. Of course, I don't want to jump ahead here. Would You tarry--delay--and perhaps give us some news tomorrow that might help us to bless Your name? I hesitate to ask boldly for a staging number that is not "4." I don't really know why I hesitate. Hmmm....I want to ask in accordance with Your will: "Your will be done." I want "Your kingdom [to] come" in Bill's life (if it has not already). I want to be able to sing that song "Blessed Be Your Name" including the verse "...on the road marked with suffering...though there's pain in the offering...."
So, allow me to be bold here for just a moment and entertain a radical request from You. Would You please, please give us a piece of good news to keep us hoping? Would that be outside Your will? This is where those groanings of the Spirit too deep for words have to happen, because I cannot put into words what I am asking You. I am a bit afraid to ask You for the obvious--that Bill's cancer, though "poorly differentiated and aggressive," might not be Stage 4 and might respond to some treatment--but that is what I am fearfully, tearfully hoping. But "Not my will, but Yours, be done." Luke 22:42
My final prayer tonight (6:37 pm) is that, then. Please show me what to say, when to say it, when to say nothing, how to show love and how to show You tomorrow in the doctor's office and after. Thank You that Randy and Terri are planning to be there, too. I am glad that Bill is being shown how much he is loved. Embrace him, Father. Embrace Mom, too, and bring both of them peace and comfort no matter what the news is. (But if You would let the news not be too bad...please....)
Father, You already know that all of this I pray for Jesus's sake~Amen.
6:40 pm
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