Contemplating Change

When I stop to pray, dear Father, I almost always find my mind believing that whatever ELSE comes into my head is more urgent than prayer.  What a lie.  I just went hunting for my resume, which I was told was NOT a requirement for today, instead of staying here with You.

So, first, let me thank You for a splendid, spectacular day for the girls' graduation party.  It seemed like it included the entire wide span of ages well.  Most significantly, You appeared to divert the rain and thunderstorms that were clearly forecast for that day.  Until the day before, it looked like a wet party.  You are gracious in even the small and seemingly unimportant details of our lives--a party??--and we need (I need) to trust You in the big ones.

And perhaps this change that I am contemplating is one of those big ones.  I am tired of DMH and WRCH.  I feel useless, hopeless, and very much unappreciated (maybe not so much that last one, but I may need to deal with that issue separately).  I don't feel that the gifts of psychological healing that You seem to have given to me are being used most effectively.  I feel that I am fighting powers of darkness--oh my, what did I just say?--and I am not winning.  

Or are we?

Nevertheless, I look at this opportunity to take a different path as an exploration arranged by You.  I hope that is accurate.  Here I am at the cusp of my 59th birthday.  I have long planned to do more private practice in my later years, and the landscape of private practice has changed enough that being in a group practice with prescribing psychiatrists and team backup is wise.  

Lord God, You know that I want to be where You direct.  This foray into a new possibility may be nothing more than confirmation that I need to stay put, or it may be the next step in my professional life and ministry for You.  I don't know how to prepare.  I will leave to You (the Holy Spirit) to put the words in my mouth that are appropriate for the moment.  I will leave the outcome in Your hands.  I--no, You--are the focus of this endeavor, and may You be glorified even with people of different cultures and backgrounds in that practice.

May Your will be done and may You be lifted up and glorified.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.