Aarrgghh!

I had good intentions, Lord, really I did.  Why did I have to get interrupted first by my mother and then by my husband?  On the phone, of course, but here comes the third call.  "Epilepsy Foundation of New England"--a truck in the area on August 16 for donations of clothing.  What is going on?

I really need to spend some retreat time with You, Lord.  That "Soul Care" thing that Grace Chapel did not even one week ago was so appealing to me.  If I could just go and be in a bubble but still hear and soak up all the teaching~~ahhh.  That would be wonderful.  I know I think about retreats, but the fellowship part is not attractive to me.  Why?  Not sure, but I think it's because I listen to people and perhaps analyze them too much.  It would be nice to have someone listen to me, make me feel the way I hope I make others feel, but not be condescending or patronizing.  That, I think, is the hardest part of being a good listener/therapist: the not taking on a know-it-all, superior stance.

I am a lousy peer.  I do not do this peer thing very well at all.  And now, I may have 5-10 minutes before my husband arrives, and I cut my mother off "to make my husband some dinner."  Aarrgghh!  For some retreat time~~without making my husband feel unwanted~~without abandoning my mother (whom I just saw yesterday for about 4 hours)~~without a to-do list of tasks with timelines and deadlines~~maybe someday, and maybe too soon I will have this time, and then I won't like it.

But for now...maybe....

Off to make that dinner!