Lord, I am going to take 20 minutes here with You, according to the suggestion on the Busted Halo website to "practice" meditation for 20 minutes each day. This may not be truly meditation, but the 20-minute idea seems like a really good one. So, I start at 5:57 p.m.
Today I had the cystoscopy. What a relief to hear that the CT scan from last Monday was normal, and the cystoscopy showed only possible residual evidence of an infection. The evidence was a reddened, apparently inflamed area; it was nothing really remarkable, according to the doctor, but it suggested to him that there was left-over infection. So I now take Bactrim for four doses, one of which I took already today. My blood pressure was up a bit at 130/88, despite having taken the Atenolol this morning (and I will take it again tonight). Hah! This old body is showing signs of wear and aging. :)
The upshot, so far anyway, is that the "gross hematuria" does not appear by any means of evaluation to indicate cancer. Yes, that is a relief. It also taught me that I can't take for granted my health or my own power to avoid sickness. It was humbling to me to consider that I could have a terminal illness despite taking (what I think is) good care of myself. I came back to the realization that You are ultimately the decider of my fate. I didn't come back to that as quickly or as easily as I would have liked; but I did get there. "My life is in You, Lord."
I need to settle a little bit and ask for Your blessing and inspiration on the MOPS talk tomorrow. In today's, or was it yesterday's (?), New Testament reading, You Yourself said that we should not worry about what we will say when the time comes. It's in Mark 13:11b: "...don’t worry in advance about what to say. Just say what God tells you at that time, for it is not you who will be speaking, but the Holy Spirit." (I'm not going to be arrested and standing trial, but still.... !) Is it wrong for me to review what I have written in preparation for tomorrow? I hope not. I really, really want You, Holy Spirit, to be the One speaking.
Use me, dear Master, to reach anyone who doesn't know You yet. Use me, too, to challenge those who do know You to stop hiding from You and to seek You with all their hearts. If my life is to mean anything at all, I want my funeral to be a testimony to a sold-out servant of her Savior.
I have recalled the story "Sighting Day" in Tales of the Kingdom on more than one occasion since I have been preparing for this talk. Should I make a reference to it? Maybe....
Okay, Lord, it's now 6:13 p.m. I'm going to float over to Busted Halo for a few minutes and read that article on meditation for the remaining time. Bless me, indeed, and enlarge my territory (so that You will have more influence)! Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm (so that I may continue to serve You), that I might not cause pain (by neglecting to share the Gospel)!
Oops. It's 6:17 p.m. :)
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