I have been eager, maybe a little anxious, to hear about the arbitrator's decision, which is due soon. I haven't told anyone, especially DH, about the upcoming finding. (More on that later, possibly in another entry.) However, no matter what the decision is, I will accept it and move on. I acknowledge that I have wondered about a financial settlement, even though I pointed out to the attorney and to the union representative that this issue is not about "making me whole" for financial losses. That will be Your decision. You will get at least 10%, more likely 15%, if there is a settlement. I release that imagination to You.
Being in the book of Job has reignited some of the early emotions that I had when this ordeal began. So much is unresolved; I am not sure that I will ever find closure in the therapeutic sense of the word. I am sure, however, that I will find peace in knowing You and knowing more about how You do things and make choices for Your people. I recall one interaction described to me between two other people where the counselor person asked the other, "What if it is God's will to fail?" What if it is, or was, Your will for this misunderstanding and false accusation to occur? I can see a fair amount of spiritual growth in myself as a direct response to my struggles with the situation. Maybe....
I have to go get my hair dried and ready for DH to take me on an errand (car having remote starter installed). I go back to the beginning; so much to do. This was sweet time, though, Abba. May I prioritize our time together and may I not talk so much and listen so much more.
Love, Me.
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