A Self Compassion Prayer

May God bless and keep you always; May God bless you with joy, peace, happiness; May God bless you & keep you safe; May God bless you with many more joyful years, good health & His sweet presence; May God bless you today & always!

Alone on Ethical Island

I need to capture my thoughts and anxieties about testifying (under subpoena) today.  My stomach is a mess; I am having difficulty concentrating; I am annoyed by the "games" (a word shared with me by an unnamed community provider) rather than the fulfillment of the mission of DMH: 

    "The Department, as the state mental health authority, assures and provides access to services and supports to meet the mental health needs of individuals of all ages, enabling them to live, work, and participate in their communities..."

The NASW Code of Ethics notes the following:

    "Instances may arise when social workers' ethical obligations conflict with agency policies or relevant laws or regulations. When such conflicts occur, social workers must make a responsible effort to resolve the conflict in a manner that is consistent with the values, principles, and standards expressed in this Code.  If a reasonable resolution of the conflict does not appear possible, social workers should seek proper consultation before making a decision."

This has been a lonely time in my work here at WRCH.  I have little respect for the administration of the clinical social work department or of the facility clinical director.  Neither of them has a lot of pertinent experience, and both of them are ambitious self-promoters.

There.  I have said it.  There is no one else, Lord, to whom I can share these intense thoughts and feelings.

May Your will be done!  And may I handle it with grace and graciousness.  For Your sake.

Even Perfect Jesus

 Even perfect Jesus could not or would not "ensure" that people would accept Him or listen to him.   However, that is the task I have been assigned.  I can only transmit; I can neither make others tune into my frequency or even turn on their receivers.  Lord, help me to communicate these thoughts to those who need to hear them.  Give me gracious words and a softened heart minister reconciliation.  As Jesus would!  Amen.

Enemy Love

 Scott Larson of Straight Ahead Ministries delivered a powerful sermon on May 16, 2021 titled "Enemy Love."  Ouch.  Love your...enemies.  But don't give them rent-free space in your head, your heart, your feelings, your focus!

Fellowship of Your Sufferings

 Dearest Lord, this phrase from Philippians 3:1to be 0 has been rattling around in my heart and mind and soul for a while now.  Work is the setting of the "suffering" and the suffer to b3e likring is the remarkable misunderstanding of my behavior and performance.  How did You manage?  People believed that You were evil, and You did not get along with the people in power.  You stayed the course, though, and You remained loving even while You sometimes called out hypocrisy.  I don't believe I am perfect, at all.  I do wish the certainty that You always had could be mine.  I need, when I doubt, to ... stay quiet, listen for the Holy Spirit, and perhaps hardest of all, not get angry.  

I love You, Jesus, and I really do want to be like You.  It's harder now than I ever imagined it would be.  Being misunderstood, maligned, and rejected--that is only some of what You suffered.  If You are as sensitive as I believe You are, with a heart that wanted people to love You, it may have hurt.  Did it?

Promotion Prayer?

 So, Lord, You did just remind me to pray for Amy and her final interview on Friday.  We are all asking for the grace to mean it when we pray that Your will be done.  We ask that You direct her path, that You lead her in the way in which she should go.  We trust that You see her heart for You and Your kingdom, and we (I) pray that You reward her in a felt way for her faithfulness.  We all pray for the extension of Your kingdom and the glory of Your name~~Amen.

Pray at All Times

 My heart and my mind are overwhelmed with the very long list of things that need prayer attention.  How did You mean this command, Lord?  "Pray about everything," "pray at all times."  I am only a finite human with finite time constraints and finite attention span.  How am I supposed to obey this command, Lord?

Distraction: Poor Chloe.  Her usual beds are not available to her because we are painting the living room.  My being home today (Presidents' Day) is also disrupting her, I think.  But she keeps showing up where I am.  The cat whisperers tell us that that behavior is a sign of love.

But back!  None of this is ordered according to importance.  I would not know how to prioritize these prayers:

• Mom
• Tue--and Julie
• Amy and her job opportunity
• This country, not necessarily "my" country
• The Journey church
• Kim Marie and her cancer treatment

"Lord" (as my British friends would pronounce it), "please calm and order my random and unsettled thoughts and concerns to come into line with Your will and Your ways.  Help me to capture some of the prayer progress, as with Tue and Julie, so that I can look back on it and celebrate Your work, no matter how slow and incremental it appears to me when I want a quick and quantum leap into an answer.  

Maranatha, Lord Jesus.  Come back!  We want You and we need You!