Beginning a Letter to Tue

Dear Tue,

I think I knew it would come to this.  You are a good man!  My daughter Julie has not been loose with her affections, and when we learned that she was dating someone, we knew that he had to be a special guy.

Then we met you.  You were so nervous.  (I think?)  You were also so sweet.  I remember that somewhere along the way I heard that in past relationships the more difficult parent for you was the mother.  I don't want to be difficult, and it is my hope that you don't see me that way.

I really love you, not just because of your relationship with my daughter, but because you are an amazing person.  I have watched you over the nearly three years that you and Julie have been dating, and I see a person with the biggest heart I think I have seen in a person of your generation.  You love, and you love deeply and sacrificially.  You don't let go of many friendships.  You are tenacious.  You set a goal, and you go for it.  You are respectful.  You think critically and analytically.

So.  Here we are, and the most important thing on my heart is your relationship with Jesus.  I have no doubts about your relationship with Julie; you need to hear that, know that, believe that.  It is not because of some poorly-exegeted passage of the Bible that I have this concern on my heart (that is, the verse 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.").  It is completely because I want you to know how much Jesus loves you--and secondarily, because the Word of God says that a husband is supposed to love his wife THAT MUCH.  I want Julie to be loved that much!  But as I said, that is secondary although very, very important to me.

Primarily, though, I want you to know Jesus.  Not just know about Jesus, but know Him.  I want you to imagine His wearing a baseball hat backward on His head, watching the Eagles with you and saying, "You know, Wentz is a personal friend of Mine."  I want you to feel that you can ask Him hard questions and complain to Him about His people (I do, often).  I want you and Julie to have a common, firm, unshakable foundation for your life (singular) together, and your lives (plural)  together, because Biblically speaking you two will become one AND you two will continue to have your own personalities and purposes.  And, looking forward as I often do, I want to know without any question in my mind that when Jesus comes back for His people--which I believe is coming at a faster pace than I have ever before imagined in my 60+ years--you will be coming with us.

I am crying right now.  I didn't expect to shed tears when I began this letter.  I cry when God touches my heart, and I think that is why I am crying right now.

Tue, I would be honored to have you as a son-in-law.  I hope you know that the *only* reservation that I have about your marriage to my daughter is your relationship to Jesus.  It is all about Jesus.  All.

(PS I do see your respect for your father, your deep love for him.  What does he say about your intention to ask Julie to marry you?  (If you have talked to him about this?)  I have long had a feeling that your father is more accepting and, if I may say so, more like Jesus than many of my so-called brethren who call themselves Christian.  I sound judgmental when I say that, and for that I am sorry, but I believe that.  In my own relationship with Jesus, He has surprised me with the people who are not traditionally "believers" but have more love, more Christ-likeness, than many churchgoers.  Your father is one of those people.

But that is off topic.  Is your father's faith so important to him that your possibly embracing a relationship with Jesus would hurt him?  I would love to talk about this with you.  It somehow seems to me that your father has put you in the path of Jesus since enrolling you in a Catholic school--funny, but in the deep spiritual level of life, perhaps meaningful?  I also wonder if on that deep spiritual level of life your father's journey out of Vietnam and to "the City of Brotherly Love" and to a job at a Catholic school is a sign of God's loving hand on him and on your family.  Just wondering....)

I may well continue this letter at another time.  I have learned to let ideas percolate and simmer; this is so important that I don't think I can do the entire subject justice in one sitting.

And if you didn't get it yet, allow me to repeat that I love you--like a son, like a wonderful human being!