I Hate Confrontation

So, Lord, another Sunday in the classroom.  I admit it is tiring me.  This week I served You in the girls' 3rd & 4th grade.  One young lady with whom we have had minor trouble since she was in Kindergarten came to class with a cast on her arm.  She is typically loud and distractible.  She was loud and distractible this week.  No change.

The curriculum talked about following rules and instructions, using Red Light Green Light the game to illustrate and have some fun. I admit it was a stretch, but the girls seemed to enjoy it.  The abovementioned young lady was doing fine until I directed all the girls to stay put for a moment while I debriefed them and tried to press home the point.  Off dashed Miss Casted One.  I sent her back to her mother.

Afterward, Mother came to me defensive and angry.

Points to consider:

• Miss Casted One collected all the extra Thanksgiving activity papers, folded them, and hid them in her coat.  Another student had to demand that she give one back for a student who came to class late.
• Historically as well as today, Miss Casted One has trouble not speaking out impulsively and off topic.   
• Most importantly, the impulsive dashing off in the Gym presents a danger.  Already, she has an injured arm.  Without warning and in the face of clear direction from me to stand with the other girls, she ran to the other side of the room.  This behavior meant that I could not trust that she would accept my authority.

I hate confrontation, dear Lord.  I am asking, begging, You to give me Spirit-directed words and perhaps even more importantly "ears" to hear what Mother needs to say.  Please also guard my mouth so that I do not speak "evil" or any hurtful thing.  To be sure, some of the thoughts that both my DH and I have shared would be hurtful if spoken to Mother.  (I hope none are true.)  But that is a topic for another time; this family has surely suffered and does not need too much confrontation--or maybe they do?  I will leave that to You to decide.

In Jesus's name, by the power of the Holy Spirit, and under the authority of the Father who disciplines us for our own good and His glory~~Amen.

My Own Interpersonal Effectiveness

...isn't very good.

There, I have said it.  Lord God, I look back over most of my life and realize that my relationships have been problematic for decades.  This area of life is not one of my strengths.  I don't really know what to do about this difficulty; of course, if I did, I would probably be doing the right things and I wouldn't be dealing with this weakness.

So, what do I do about my own stubbornness?  I have argued in my own mind several justifications for my behaviors and choices.  What do I value over relationships?  Truth?  Being right?  I want a spiritual adviser...but I am cynical and/or paranoid enough to distrust the motives of such people.

In the most recent situation, totally without meaning to do so, I apparently "offended" a young female patient by calling her out on her yelling at another, more fragile patient.  I pointed out that the young woman's behavior resembled that of someone she dislikes intensely (most people don't like that "someone") and whose words had hurt, even traumatized, her.  For reasons that I have examined over and over, the young woman has chosen to focus on me rather than on her inappropriate, even bullying, behavior. 

I have not backed down or apologized.  I am getting quicker and more willing to apologize when I am wrong--I think.  I am resisting this situation.  I don't believe that I was, or am, wrong.  Am I missing something?  I know this young woman is "traumatized."  (Now, I ask myself, why did I put that word in quotes?  Is this something I doubt is related to her trauma?)

Lord, please make--keep, when it happens--me humble.  Show me the error in my thinking, and help me to do the right thing.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.
 

Strawberry Mansion Tensions

Father God, You are the protector of the orphans.  Why do I start this post like that?  In some ways, I see the students of Strawberry Mansion in Philadelphia as orphaned by the city's school system and by the policies of poverty.  The public transit strike has contributed to their orphanhood; many of their parents cannot get to work without transportation, resulting in lost wages, lost jobs, lost food, lost opportunities for the families and especially for the students.

My daughter is caught up in this suffering as she serves those students.  She is also caught up in the dissatisfaction of the school's principal, who may herself be caught up in the suffering.  So, I said that I would pray for them both.  For my daughter, that she would know that You are BIG.  Bigger than all these problems, bigger than the principal, bigger than the forces of evil that we admit are loose in the world.  For that principal, that she would know the same things.  That she would be encouraged today by something, that she would say an encouraging thing--or two--and that she would (finally?) learn that leadership by intimidation is not as effective as leadership by love and example.

I need to get back to work.  In Jesus's name, and in the encouragement of the Spirit~~Amen.

Prayer for America

Spiritual Warfare Surrounding The Elections

Nothing is achieved in the Kingdom of God without warfare. That includes the election of righteous individuals to the leadership of one of the key nations on the planet. As we pray, we must expect the enemy to attack in many ways. There will be attacks on candidates and their families, on the media, the Church, and perhaps the nation itself. Some will be clearly spiritual, while other attacks may have physical manifestations. Our call is to have great discernment as we pray and stand in the strength of Christ’s victory

Pray today around the spiritual warfare issues involved in the election, such as:

Great awareness and discernment for the Lord’s praying people as they pray over the election.

Physical protection for all candidates and their families throughout this campaign season.

A strong hedge of protection around the nation itself during this time of decision.

The unleashing of the sword of the Spirit throughout the nation, judging the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

Election 2016

Good evening, Lord.  I have tried to put prayer on my daily schedule, and I am pretty good at reading the devotional from Ecclesiastes--which is, incidentally, just perfect for this election season--but I am not good at documenting my prayer here.  Of course, that is not what matters.  It just helps me to be consistent and to prove, if only to myself, that I have prayed.

So, here I am, Lord.  The biggest thing on my mind may be this nation's upcoming election.  The choices we have are terrible.  If there were only a respectable candidate who held the values that I hold, I would surely choose that one.  There is not.  How do I make a decision?

I liked Max Lucado's suggestion.  Maybe it was less a suggestion than his personal accommodation to this dilemma.  

On November 7, I'm going to look at the platforms of both parties. I'm going to think hard about the character of both candidates. I'm going to get on my knees. And then when I wake up on November the 8, I'm just going to cast what I'm considering to be a informed vote.

Max also talked about "failing the decency test."  Yikes.  He has not disclosed his choice, but this comment was said about Donald Trump.  Hillary Clinton may not be "decent" either; however, she is consistent and predictable, if wrong.  I get the wrong part.  :)  It is possible for me to disagree with someone (they would be the wrong ones) and still work with them, praying for a correct decision.

So, Father God, show me something.  Ecclesiastes is a wonderful reflection on this all being "vanity...meaningless."  Keep me in that mindset.  It is all about You, Jesus.

Max put this from Lamentations on one of his posts:
 

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
(Lam. 3:21-23)

You are always faithful!  In Jesus's name~~Amen.

Unity and Division

"Is there disunity among believers anywhere that brings reproach on Christ?"  From John Piper's Desiring God, 30 Prompts to Pray.


Oh, Lord, I felt in my heart the direction to seek a prayer prompt for my time with You today.  This is the one that grabbed my attention.  Unity is such a wonderful, lofty concept, and perhaps only a concept as an ideal.

Of course, the first instance and example of this prompt is our church.  How my heart and mind churn with concern and even anger at the divisiveness that I ... what? ... perceive, discern!  But that is no good.  That makes me complicit in the enemy's scheme to divide.  The balance is a difficult one to achieve; to see truth, to see beyond the surface and into people's intentions and hearts, is to see sin.  It may also be filtered through my own sinfulness.  What a quandary.

A second instance is my marriage.  A good one, by almost all standards!  Sometimes, though, I get annoyed at the simplistic, judgmental attitude of my dear husband, even though he presents it in fairly loving ways.  He does not see beneath the surface much.  What he sees...is.  He rarely sees the spiritual battle that takes advantage of ignorance and innocence and lack of awareness.  And that frustrates me, causing me to hold my tongue and to refrain from sharing my deepest thoughts, observations, conclusions, and worries.  He trivializes them and then I feel very misunderstood.  Consequently, I don't open up a lot.  Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage touches on this issue a bit--but he is Tim Keller, not my husband.  Tim thinks deeply.  Tim's job is to see spiritual truths and untruths and to call them out.  My husband prefers superficiality, I think.  It is, after all, easier.
 
So, today my prayer is to hold my tongue and to refrain from judgment.  To choose love and understanding and sweetness.  To dwell in the secure knowledge that YOU understand me, and know even more than I do about this spiritual battle the world is in and the church is in and even my marriage is in. 


I rather think it humorous that my devotions are currently in Ecclesiastes, where "all is vanity."  All.  This election is meaningless; the conflict in the church is meaningless; any tension in relationships is, on the surface, meaningless.  "Do not let your mouth lead you into sin." Ecclesiastes 5:6  Great advice.  In Jesus's great and all-meaningful name~~Amen.

Prayer for This Country

Oh, dear Lord.  On this day after the presidential candidate debate, I am more disheartened than ever about the upcoming election and the future of this country.  Although we saw only the tail end of the debacle, it was a disaster.  In terms of presentation, the Democratic candidate clearly held her composure.  The Republican candidate did not.  In my reading today on various news sites, the country is more partisan than ever, and facts or truth make no difference in opinions.  This is a sad time for this country.  

I am reminded of a verse in Scripture: 

But our citizenship is in heaven.  And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Philippians 3:20)

Amen, Lord!  Maranatha!  Come, Lord Jesus!

In the meantime, I also recall that You instruct us to pray for our governments.  

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.  (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

 So here I am, Lord, praying.  Please guide the course of this election to accomplish Your purposes, and please do not allow Your people, and me specifically, to lose sight of the overriding principles of Godly living--whether the government is Godly or not.  Fill me with love and dedication to prayer and most of all a commitment to Your kingdom of reconciliation.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.

The Meaning of Marriage

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3

I have been reading The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller and, though it is a bit erudite :) , I am learning much from it.  So, as I await the arrival of my husband from a visit to his family in NH, it is appropriate that I pray for him and for our marriage.

Dear Heavenly Father, some of the things in Keller's book are weighty.  The word "ezer" comes to mind, a strong and faithful helper, a word used in connection with You in Scripture and in connection with a wife as well.  There is another word as well that hasn't made the same impression -- yet -- on my mind, but I want to emphasize it so that I do remember it.  Please work with me and on me to be the kind of wife that Keller referenced in the quote I put on Facebook:

 “Within this Christian vision of marriage, here's what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, "I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, 'I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!”

Show me those glimpses of what You are creating in my husband, and show him glimpses of what You are creating in me!  I wouldn't mind a few glimpses of what You are doing in me, though.  :)

In Jesus's name~~Amen. 

My Prayer Today

Day after day, I must face a world of strangers
Where I don't belong, I'm not that strong
It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to
Who will always care, you're always there

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But, I won't last a day without you

So, many times when the city seems to be
Without a friendly face, a lonely place
It's nice to know that you'll be there if I need you
And you'll always smile, it's all worthwhile

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

Touch me and I end up singing
Trouble seems to up and disappear
You touch me with the love you're bringing
I can't really lose when you're near
When you're near, my love

If all my friends have forgotten half their promises
They're not unkind, just hard to find
One look at you and I know
That I could learn to live without the rest
I've found the best

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you
Won't last a day without you, without you

Prayer for My Country

I always say that I need to pray about this election, dear God, but I have not put anything down that can be seen as proof that I have prayed.  This post is that evidence.

Please, please intervene.  The man to whom so many of my fellow citizens are flocking is ... what is he?  He is evidently not a Christian, but that is not a requirement for the job.  That he has claimed to be a Christian, has butchered a reference to a Biblical book, and has boasted that he has never asked You for forgiveness most emphatically leads to the conclusion that he does not know You.  His policies are immature and inflammatory, and his ability to navigate domestic and international relationships and agendas is poorly developed.

Yet people are attracted to him.

Save us from ourselves, dear God.  Of course, we deserve what we may be getting, and perhaps You are delivering us to our own sins.  Still I plead with You to save us.  There are still many who know You who shudder at the prospect of a presidency with this man in office, and I realize that there are many who claim to know You who are endorsing him.  This is so confusing.  Keep me praying and please reveal to me Your will for me and for my family.

In Jesus's name and in anticipation of His return--soon!--Amen.

Tuesday, Tuesday

(This is, of course, a follow-up or completion to yesterday's post which I had to close suddenly.)

And today, Tuesday, is the day I have set aside to pray for my curious husband.  So where was I?  Yes, perhaps I am a wee bit anxious about his trip to Israel.  I am also a wee bit jealous.  My medical issues (should I call them problems?) would not make me a good tour-group member.  Maybe someday.  But for Dear Husband, this is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.  So, dear God, please bless this trip for him and for all of his fellow travelers.  Give the pastor and the assistant pastor grace and wisdom during the extended time away.  I ask specifically for safety because that is what I am most worried about, which is not unusual for me. 

And!  Earlier today I was imagining a post in which You and I have a conversation.

And dang.  Call for a client session that I was not planning on having.  Oh, well!  Maybe this is a way to clear out next week for another client who contacted me today.

I get so distracted.  :( 

Monday, Monday

Sweet little surprise: my older daughter called out of the blue for no (apparent) other reason than to say hello and check in!

(I had sent two text messages to my younger daughter earlier today.  One was a response to a request for information about the Board of Appeals for the at-fault insurance claim from December.  While I am thinking of that, Lord, may I pray for Your gracious favor in that situation?  It would be very hard to afford the surcharge, and in my heart I recognize that my youngest is not always the best driver, but in this accident I truly do not think that she was more than 50% at fault.  Please forgive her this time.  I believe she has learned a hard lesson.

Oh, the other message was just a Bitmoji about Mondays.)

Dear Husband is leaving two short weeks from tonight to visit Your homeland on earth.  Yes, I am a wee bit ....

(Sudden publication.  Dear Husband came home about 10 minutes earlier than I expected and he predicted.  I will start another entry: Tuesday, Tuesday!)

Privacy, Please

Today's New Testament reading in the One Year Bible was perfect justification for this "private" journal.  Give in private; pray in private; fast in private.  (Matthew 5)  Keep this site private!

So much to pray about:

• Alex Power's mother died today.
• Sarah Robertson's grief over her stillborn son
• Amy
• Julie
• George
• Mom
• Work
• Ministry

 So much work to do in the world.  I said a couple of times today, "We did what we could.  We will do what we can."  That was the idea behind Elisa Morgan's small book. (Elisa was the former president of MOPS.  I rather wish she still was.)  So I will do what I can, and that may be for today only to offer these people to You to bless as only You know best how to bless them.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.
 

Prayers in Need

(Just to be clear and a little defensive, I want to state that I have been praying both silently and in other journals for loved ones.)

• For the Robertson family in Lebanon, please give them extraordinary peace and comfort during this awful time.
• For Sandy (and Rick), please give them comfort, too, and wisdom and helpfulness to their daughter and grandsons today--and safe travel tomorrow.
• For my husband, please give him stamina and perseverance.  If there is something wrong that is driving him to early retirement, please reveal it, not for any reason but to help us get help and to help me to understand.
• For my daughters--our daughters, with George and with You--for protection in their jobs and in their spiritual lives (especially Julie).  And maybe for their future spouses, if that is Your will for them?
• For me, please clarify this recurring hematuria.  I still feel that there is Your work to do in the world, and I look forward to doing some of it as long as You give me health and life.  (What a drag to go through this when so many people have little to no good health care.)
• For my mother, please give her peace in her (partial) blindness.  As Alex's mother passes away with such a terrible diagnosis, my mother understandably anticipates her own passing.  I don't think she is concerned about dying; she appears to know You, at least with regard to salvation.  (I do wish she had a deeper relationship with You that could help with her lifelong anxiety.)  Please bless her with Your felt presence in ways that her old Catholic heart will find surprising!

 I have to get ready for an appointment.  I would stay longer if the tasks and responsibilities of life were not so demanding.  I love You, God, and I want to love and know You more this year.  In Jesus's name and by the indwelling energy of the Holy Spirit~~Amen.
 

First Day

Happy New Year, Lord!  One day closer to being with You.

 Confession: I am having trouble being respectful to DH.  I see signs of slippage, both hearing and thinking.  He is still sweet-tempered but not making great judgments.  Help me to be more understanding and supportive, please.  I wish he would take this seriously.  And, of course, I will pray constantly for his safety, and the safety of the whole group, as they tour the Holy Land.  Please protect them all and make this the trip of a lifetime.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.