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Monday, August 29, 2022

Every Day and All Over Again

How to Get Out of Bed When You're Depressed | Everyday Health

 “If anybody starts talking to me about religious commitment, I may listen politely, but what I’d like to answer him with is a few monosyllables that don’t bear repeating here in the midst of the holy community. If you tell me Christian commitment is a thing that has happened to you once and for all like some kind of spiritual plastic surgery, I say go to, go to, you’re either pulling the wool over your own eyes or trying to pull it over mine. Every morning you should wake up in your beds and ask yourself: ‘Can I believe it all again today?’ No, better still, don’t ask it till after you’ve read The New York Times, till after you’ve studied that daily record of the world’s brokenness and corruption, which should always stand side by side with your Bible. Then ask yourself if you can believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ again for that particular day. If your answer’s always Yes, then you probably don’t know what believing means. At least five times out of ten the answer should be No because the No is as important as the Yes, maybe more so. The No is what proves you’re a man in case you should ever doubt it. And then if some morning the answer happens to be really Yes, it should be a Yes that’s choked with confession and tears and… great laughter. Not a beatific smile, but the laughter of wonderful incredulity.” 

(Frederick Buechner, The Return of Ansel Gibbs p. 303-304)


Sunday, August 21, 2022

I'm Sad

Good morning, Lord.  I am in a hotel room isolating from DH because *he* has COVID and he is really bad at isolating.  Since You already know my heart, I may as well confess that I have called him an idiot and a moron, but thankfully only in my thoughts.  I am angry at him for being careless.  I feel put-upon and inconvenienced and, frankly, threatened with illness: "It's not that bad.  You are being ridiculous."  But he is sick, and I am not.  I am also the oldest, with the most complex picture of medical conditions, and the one with the most responsible duties over the next weeks.  

Lord God, I get so distracted!  Please focus my mind to serve today in Kids' Church and to lead Huddle.  Please place a guard around me, and especially around my thoughts, because I can get VERY snarky and downright mean.  

Solomon's prayer for discernment has stuck with me.  (Funny how You pick the right words at the right times....)

So give Your servant an understanding heart [or "a heart that listens"] to judge Your people, to discern between good and evil.

The NIV says, "to distinguish between right and wrong." Yeah, that.  In these days of gaslighting and outright lying, this is such a needed gift from You.

Frederick Büechner died.  Max Lucado shared one of his quotes, noting that there may be so many great thoughts from which to choose.  The upshot is that if we pay attention to the broken and corrupt world around us, we might--no, we will--waver.  Each day we need to choose to believe *and apply* the Gospel. Today.  In this situation.  Now.  In my life.

Yes.  Amen.