Hard to Pray

This title is misleading, perhaps.  I don't really find it hard to pray; I find it hard to make the dedicated time to pray.  Life is busy, I get tired, and distractions attract my attention.  So here I am, and another part of the difficulty is prioritizing.  Intercession?  Worship?  Confession?  Oh, my.  It could take hours--and probably should.

The issue that drove me to this site today was the need to keep praying for my younger daughter teaching in a school in Philadelphia (in class at UPenn tonight).  I could have entered a prayer on her blog site, but then I realized that I want to pray for my older daughter, too.  Instead of switching between sites, I decided to use this blog.  Then I thought that it has been way too long since I intentionally prayed for my husband (who has his own site, too).  And then the crisis in the church...and as I sit here I can come up with other people about whom to pray as well (my mother, my sister, my nephew to sell his house, my brother-in-law and a possible MS diagnosis....).

Dear God, I want to be a woman of prayer.  I want to be intentional in my relationship with You.  I want to be someone who is close to You, who has Your ear, and who will intercede on behalf of my loved ones--and Yours.  So please bless my daughter Julie with protection (yes, selfish of me but I am a mother, after all) and inspiration and creativity and genuine love for her students.  Please bless my daughter Amy with wisdom and love and effectiveness as she invests herself into students who are intent upon serving You and reaching many people in the world for You.  Please bless my dear (sometimes "curious") husband with endurance, extra energy and cognitive flexibility to keep up with a demanding IT position, and a close relationship with You.  My mother--relief from the ever-present anxiety.  On and on....

And the church.  I don't even know how to pray in this situation.  I release my curiosity about the details, not wanting to be caught up in gossip.  I ask You to keep my focus on doing what You have called me to do and not being distracted by this extraneous issue (or issues).  Somehow, please glorify Yourself in this muddle.  Bless all the hurting souls that have been involved in this awful situation.

For now, Lord, that's all.  I will try to do this more often.  In Jesus's name~~Amen.

Focus on Me

That sounds so selfish, Lord, but the truth is that my recent prayers have focused on outside problems rather than the condition, the state, of my own heart.  If I don't stay in "condition" as an athlete or a soldier does, then I am not as useful to You as I want to be...and as I believe You want me to be.

So, dear God, where are my weaknesses?  What are the things that I need to address?  One rather obvious one is my "addiction" to games.  Another one is my sharp tongue.  My "unloving" heart needs fine-tuning; I have found it difficult if not impossible to be discerning in my assessments, which sometimes include accurate identification of another person's weaknesses (or a church's....), without sounding critical and judgmental.  Oh, to have Your heart!  (Be careful what I wish for!!  Your heart hurts a lot because it is so loving.)

In Jesus' name! 

"He's Been Waiting for You..."

"...to call on His name; so, come.  Come as you are."

Beautiful song, and a lovely call to prayer this morning.  It did not even come to me through my outer ears; the song was brought to my mind (by the Holy Spirit, I suspect) and this line was a direct communication from You, Lord!  

So, on Word I wrote out an entry that I will copy and paste here:
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HBC’s Trials

PRAY!!  These are times of testing and difficulty at the church.  I have not been a fan of this church for some time, but that will not stop me, Lord, from asking You to bless it.  I surrender my human desire (I almost said “need” but that would not be true) to figure it out and to know all the deep details.

So, God, what is the focus of this prayer?  Give me some Scripture for this?

1 Corinthians 1:10 - Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and [that] there be no divisions among you; but [that] ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. (KJV)

“It was morally impossible, considering the diversities of their educations and capacities, that they should all agree in opinion; nor could he intend that, because he does not urge any argument to reduce them to such an agreement, nor so much as declare what that one opinion was in which he would have them agree. The words must therefore express that peaceful and unanimous temper, which Christians of different opinions may and ought to maintain toward each other; which will do a much greater honour to the gospel, and to human nature, than the most perfect uniformity that can be imagined.” — Doddridge

In this case, since I do not know the exact nature or arguments surrounding the disagreements, I wish to focus on what I do know and on what I can do—love and serve.  I will continue to love the PEOPLE if not the “church” (or is that not possible?) and I will continue to work for the purpose of blessing the children and their families and most of all the Lord God.

However-----are You smiling, Lord?-----I will also ask, simply and humbly, that the Holy Spirit would bring us to the truth and would knit our hearts together in a beautiful tapestry, a weaving, of our differences to show the image of Jesus in these darks and lights, highs and lows.  There CAN be coexisting truths!  Is truth “situational?”  My example: my hypertriglyceridemia, others’ diabetes—fruit is good (truth) but for me and those others, it can be dangerous.  Or allergies—is there anything really “bad” about sesame (truth—no) but for one who has a life-threatening allergy, it is very bad.

Please be glorified, dearest God, during these stormy times at this church.  In Jesus’s name~~Amen.

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Prayer #2, but not in importance: Julie's work at Strawberry Mansion.  My first and maternal prayer is, of course, for her safety.  I also ask You, Lord, for encouragement for her.  This was a difficult first week.  She is not getting great or frequent supervision, and my supervisor's heart wants to help by sharing some of (what I hope is) the wisdom I have gained from my years of experience.  Refresh her this long weekend!  Maybe I can send an email outlining some of my ideas, noting that she can choose to ignore the whole thing, pick and choose what to consider, and never risk offending me by refusing any of my thoughts.  I will--I must, I suppose, with the tasks on our plate today--await the opportunity to put this missive together :) and I will trust that by asking You to negate the idea firmly and unmistakably if it is NOT according to Your will, You will communicate that clearly to me.  Thank You in advance!

On to serving You with Promotion Sunday tomorrow!  Thanks for "waiting for me."  With much love and devotion~in Jesus's name and always trying to follow the Holy Spirit's guidance~~Amen.