Lord, I just spent 15 minutes or so cruising around random websites. I think I'm being distracted, and I also think I don't know where to start. I'd like to think that I pray enough about most things that I'm not way out of touch with you. I hope that's true. So, instead of talking to You about the many things, activities, and issues in my life, may I do something else?
May I talk to You about me?
In some ways, that may seem selfish. However, it's not about asking things for myself. I find that I am a complaining, discontent woman lately. Because my heart is deceitful above all things, as You say (in Jeremiah 17:9), I really can't trust it. The problem is that everyone else's heart is also deceitful, and I can't really trust them either. What a dilemma!
So, how do I manage these complaints and this discontent? How do I know when I am wrong? Arrogant as I may sound, I may be too smart for my own good. I often make sense. :) I can reason things through. I certainly don't know everything, but I know a good many things.
Love, love, love!
If my ... 1 Corinthians 13 just popped into mind. "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." Am I loving the people--the leadership?--at Heritage? Am I loving my husband's family? How about my own sister? What does it mean to love those people? To NOT see their flaws? Well, that can't be right, because You love us and You know all our flaws. To not count their flaws against them? That's much more like it. The problem with that comes in the application. To listen to them graciously...to see them with YOUR eyes and Your heart...to want the best for them, and to work to make that happen. Yes! That's what You have done for me.
Of course, Lord, I am finite and You are infinite. If You listen to me so graciously, would You help my deaf ears to listen to You graciously on a daily basis? Who am I supposed to "love" each day? I really like my oldest daughter's focus on intentionality. (I just looked that up, and it is in fact a word.) Each day, may I "love" someone of Your selection for that day. Something active and intentional. Someone unexpected? Someone for whom You have to give me the energy!!
Right now, I should go home and love my dog, who is awaiting his supper. :)
