Testify to Truth

 

Abba God, Adonai, I am (like Jesus, a little bit) anticipating the upcoming hearing with hostile questioners and a possibly or probably unsympathetic "arbiter."  May I honor You by speaking only the truth and speaking the truth in love?  These past years -- I have lost count of them -- have been difficult and still, through all of it, I have "lived in the goodness of God" as we sang at church this morning.  I sensed that the attorney (Alex) wanted a less spiritual answer to his question about what I wanted from this hearing and the preceding situation.  You have been faithful, and despite the dance steps it took to achieve things like retirement, insurance, unemployment, and even employment, today I can reflect on having more than I had before.  What I want is the chance to make the relationship right, to apologize, to offer grace and consolation to a person who was offended by my inadvertent behavior.  Not what he was expecting!  (I also expect that mine was a mere toothpick of a straw that broke the back of an offended person already carrying the heavier straws of many previous offenses.)

My heart wants above all else to glorify you in this interaction.  In my own nature, I am prone to rambling, being sarcastic, speaking impulsively, and generally making a mess of the situation.  Keep a watch on my words?  May your will be done.  If there is any recompense of any sort, You will get a portion of it.  That is not a bribe; that is my offering if there is to be justice and grace on behalf of a person who felt that I had been disrespectful to her religion and her culture.

What a time to be alive, Lord God.  May I hear You with my deaf ears and see You with my weak eyes, watching out for the confounding noises and optical illusions that sometimes hide You.  Amen!

Your Will Be Done

 "It is You alone who are to be feared.

Who can stand before You when You are angry?

From heaven You pronounced judgment,

and the land feared and was quiet--

when You, God, rose up to judge,

to save all the afflicted of the land.

Surely Your wrath against mankind brings You praise,

and the survivors of Your wrath are restrained." 

Psalms 78:7-10

Oh, Abba, I am a little afraid, a little anxious, a little intimidated.  I know and I believe with all my heart that nothing can compare with You or compete with You.  This upcoming arbitration is my attempt to secure justice, such as I understand it in my limited experience.  If I am wrong, let me accept Your will and Your justice.  I know in Scripture that You do not always (or even often) intervene on my time or on my terms in unjust situations.  BUT--Your people remain faithful.  I want that to be me!  No matter what happens, I want to trust You, not lose heart, keep on, and I want over all for You to be honored and glorified.  You have already been gracious to me; I have more than enough, and my new work is very fulfilling.  

TLC just referenced the "bruised reed" that You will not break.  That hit a tender place in my heart; I have felt like a bruised reed.  

Your will be done--Amen.

I Have Been Listening, Too

God my Father, twice in The Chosen (Season 4 Episode 6, 1 hour mark; Season 5, I need to pin it down) Mary Magdalene is told by Jesus that she hurts inside "because you have been listening."  I think I have been listening, too, and I hurt inside.  (John also "listens" in Season 5; I will find that one also.)

In addition, as I listen to TLC on TBR, something said in commentary about the Scriptures of the day strikes my heart chords.  I think that I am seeing more as I mature that Scripture is indeed timeless, and the times in which we are living are as evil as any of those evil times in the Bible.  

*Evil kings got to reign in their evilness for many years.

*The discernment of the righteous people can be, and usually is, both obvious and subtle.  This ambiguity makes it difficult at times to choose rightly and scares me about failing to discern Your ways and to choose them rightly in my life.

*The religious leaders in The Chosen, and Judas, and many of my own beloveds and acquaintances seem to be missing the point.  How is that?  How is it that I feel so confident that I am NOT missing the point?  (Our recent teaching series at church is helping quite a bit with discerning the point, and yet the sneakiness of so-called good lies is convincing much of the time.)

*"The word of the LORD to ________ was fulfilled."  The sometimes-future fulfillment of Your word is certain; the waiting for it is harder than I expected it to be.

*Tue's confession, or confrontation, to me last week took my breath away and at the same time seemed courageous and truth-filled.  "Intent vs. impact."  How is it that an "unbeliever" has so much wisdom?  Is he an unbeliever in You or in the (possibly) false religion currently promoted by many who claim to be Your followers?

Prayer: Abba, my "yerno" is in not a little danger from the insane deportation policies of the current presidential administration.  Your people are not strangers to such dangers; David comes to mind, and most of Your apostles died the deaths of martyrs.  History itself is replete with examples of what we mere humans would consider Divine injustice, and we often blame You.  (Today's news about flooding in Texas at the cost of many lives, including little girls from a Christian summer camp....)

But Jesus's example in Gethsemane inspires me to ask: If it is Your will, spare us all the trauma of having him detained and deported, please.  

And heal his shoulder--although I wonder if it is serving a purpose right now.

I have a beagle begging right now.  I love You,